Here I Go Again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyVzjoj96vs
I remember sitting on the couch (which was basically my home the last 3 months of my pregnancy), finishing my Kneaders turkey sandwich and 2 pastries and thinking to myself "How am I ever going to get this weight off?"

My starting weight before I got pregnant was 145. But, like usual, not being able to move and eating up a storm, I once again gained my regular 55 lbs over the course of the next 9 months. I really DO NOT care about weight when I'm pregnant. It's almost a gift :-) But I do fret over whether or not I can lose the weight again.

In February when I found out I was pregnant I was shocked -

to say the least. I had just been invited to join a team for Ragnar and was feeling healthy and in shape. The gym was actually becoming a happy place to visit.

I hate to admit it - but I cried and was upset about having to do all that work all over again.

Going to the gym is like a sweet roll that tastes like crap. Both good and bad.

Constantly feeling like your working against your own body to form it into something that it obviously doesn't want - but once it's done your body lets you know how grateful it is. In short: Working out, for me, hurts like hell (especially in the beginning). This is part of my dread when getting pregnant - to know that I have to do the beginning all over again.

I know, I know - why don't I just work out throughout the pregnancy and stay in shape. I see women at the gym with 8 month bellies working their patooties off, why not me? Well - if it was possible you'd see me there elipticalling it away with baby got front - but time after time my body does not allow it. Of course I try, and after 3 days of not getting out of bed after a workout I eventually decide that taking care of my kids, home, and husband is more important than staying in shape.

NOW.....

It's begun again. My starting weight was 189, and after my 6-week program I am at 165.

But staying motivated is the hardest thing.

Let me take you through a typical day really quick. Wake up 2-3am, feed baby. Wake up 4-6am - feed baby. 7-8am feed Xay in bed. Justin gets breakfast for kids. 8:20am Mira off to school. On M,W,F - Boyd off to preschool at 9:30. Start load laundry, clean kitchen, pick up house until 11:19 when Mira gets out. Get Mira, get Boyd. Make lunch. Rulon's nap. (All the time feeding Xaylor and holding Xaylor).

Keep kids quiet so Rulon & Xaylor can sleep. After naps - pack up all 4 kiddies (takes about 30-45 minutes) and head to the gym. 2 hour "break" of kicking my toosh, pack kids back up in car. Go home, make dinner, watch kiddie show, bathtime, bedtime routine (anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours). Bounce Xaylor until he falls asleep (anytime from 10pm-12am). Off too bed for another day.

Just to make it clear - I LOVE BEING A MOM! My days don't weigh me down, I enjoy my job. It's just hard staying motivated. No nummy food, no shopping, no sleep, and until recently no sex = stressful tiredness unfunness.

I know this won't last forever - and I tell myself this every day :-)

But in order to stay motivated I feel like I need to keep a log of my diet, exercise, and feelings. This way I can see my progress and not feel like I'm doing this for nothing. Even if I can only do 7 push-ups rights now - maybe in two weeks I'll be able to do 8. Sometimes the day to day progress isn't noticeable - but being able to read back on where I was 2-3 ago and looking at where I'm at now will help inspire me to keep going.

So today.... I had a shake for breakfast, will have almonds and chicken for lunch, apple for a snack, and than at 4:00 I head to the gym. Justin picks up the kids at 5:30 so I can work out longer and than for dinner I will have another shake and some more nuts.

Current stats:

Last Run: 3 miles in 35 minutes

Last weight: 10 lb biceps, 12 lb mower pulls, 70 lb pull downs, 3-sets 20 each triceps, 7 push-ups, 50 lb push tri's.

Last elliptical: 3 miles in 34 minutes

Last stairclimber: 50 floors in 15 minutes

Last rower: 2000 meters in 13 minutes

Last bike: 112 cal, 2.98 miles in 10 minutes

Here I go again :-) Wish me luck!